“Before He Tweets” – by “Stephanie R”

To the tune of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats”

Right now, he’s probl’y bloggin’ all my secrets to the world and they’re probl’y pretty nerdy
Right now, he’s probl’y telling some noob how to bring his offensive level up to thirty
Right now, he’s probl’y making an eHarmony account and hitting on a pedo,
And he don’t know…

Cause I plugg’d a flashdrive into the side of his pretty little souped up Mac hard drive
Carved my name into his glossy screen
I used up all of his World of Warcraft lives
Spammed his Facebook wall with lies
Maybe next time he’ll think before he Tweets

Right now, he’s probl’y retweetin’ with the hashtag #Ican’tbelievethatshepwnedme
Right now, he’s probl’y google searchin’ “Where can I find Mean Girls online for free”
Right now, he’s probl’y buying twenty dollars worth of those rare Pokemon…
And I mean, come on….

I plugg’d a flashdrive into the side of his pretty little souped up Mac hard drive
Carved my name into his glossy screen
I used up all of his World of Warcraft lives
Spammed his Facebook wall with lies
Maybe next time he’ll think before he Tweets

I might’ve saved a little trouble for his followers
Cause the next time that he Tweets
Oh you know it won’t be about me
Nooooo, not about me….

Cause I plugg’d a flashdrive into the side of his pretty little souped up Mac hard drive
Carved my name into his glossy screen
I used up all of his World of Warcraft lives
Spammed his Facebook wall with lies
Maybe next time he’ll think before he tweets
Maybe next time he’ll think before he tweets

 

Lyrics by Claire R and Alexander R

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